And the casserole ...

And the casserole ...
A Roman Catholic priest, a Baptist minister and a Methodist lay preacher die and go to heaven. They are met at the gates by St. Peter who tells them that, before they can enter, they must bring something with them that represents their faith.
St. Peter asks the Roman Catholic what he has brought and priest shows him his rosary and says, 'I have said my prayers using my rosary every day.' St. Peter replies, 'Enter my son.'
St Peter asks the Baptist what he has brought and the minister shows him his Bible and says, I have lived my life by the Bible every day.' St. Peter replies, 'Enter my son.'
St Peter asks the Methodist what he has brought with him and the Methodists says,'I've brought a casserole.'

Saturday, 4 June 2011

I’m Over Here

The following sketch is the second of two sketches based on Acts 17: 22-31

(Holy Joe and No-So-Holy Josephine stand on opposite sides of the church and have to raise their voices to be heard)
Josephine      (Calling) Hello, can you help me!
(Joe doesn’t notice)
Josephine      (Calling louder) Hello, can you help me!
(Joe looks up.)
Josephine      Hello, can you help me!
(Joe points to himself and mouths ‘Who, me?’)
Josephine      Hello!
Joe                    (quietly) Can I help you?
Josephine      What?
Joe                    (Louder) Can I help you?
Josephine      I do hope so. I am looking for something.
Joe                    What are you looking for?
Josephine      I’m not sure. But I feel empty inside.
Joe                    Would you like a cup of tea and a biscuit?
Josephine      No, I mean, my life is empty. I need something to fill me spiritually.
Joe                    (dropping his voice) Well, you’ve come to the right place, this is a church.
Josephine      Pardon?
Joe                    (Raising his voice again) Well, you’ve come to the right place. Come here, come to church  and I’ll help you find God.
Josephine      Who?
Joe                    God. I’ll help you find God. You can find God if you come to church.
Josephine      Where is he?
Joe                    Everywhere. Come here and I will tell you how to put God into your life. Come to church and meet God.
Josephine      But I’m here. My life is here. If God is everywhere, why can’t I find out about him here where my life is? I’ve never been to church. That’s not where my life is.
Joe                    But you have to come to church to meet God. You can find out about Him and His Son, Jesus Christ, and how the Holy Spirit can help. You can pray to God and sing to God and read about God and hear sermons about God. God can help all sinners and fill their empty lives.
Josephine      That’s not me! I don’t think I want this god in my life until I get to know him. I don’t even know this god you are talking about so how can come to church and meet him. I won’t feel comfortable there. I’d much rather meet him here where I feel comfortable
Joe                    But our church is where you meet God. We meet Him here every Sunday. We have a crèche and coffee and biscuits afterwards.
Josephine      But you said that God is everywhere.
Joe                    Yes, he is.
Josephine      So is he here with me now?
Joe                    Yes but …
Josephine      So why can’t you come here and point him out to me because I can’t see him.
Joe                    But it’s not that simple. I can help you find God if you come to church. I find Him here every Sunday.
Josephine      But I need more than that. I need to find something in my life every day not just on Sundays. I need someone who knows me and can help me and can make my life real. I really feel that I need to make something of my life and your god is only available on Sundays.
Joe                    Yes but if you come to church you’ll …
Josephine      (Looking around) Hello! Is there anyone else that can help? Hello!
(She walks off.)

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